hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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