I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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