I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
