what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
