I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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