We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
