And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
