It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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