Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
