but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
