Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
