Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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