sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It's never too late to be topless.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
