the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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