is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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