apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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