hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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