For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
