I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
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