it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
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The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
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This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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