just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I think i got beer on your cat.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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