they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
