Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
