found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
