I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
