It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
