Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
