Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
