HIV tests are more positive than that guy
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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