I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Randomize
