I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
