Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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