He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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