He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize