I need help removing her.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
