All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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