too bad you live with your parents still
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
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My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
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We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
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