oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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