I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
