I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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