Ambien. No doubt about it.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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