why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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