sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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