So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
