I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
