Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Randomize
