OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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