glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
