You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize