Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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