Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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