flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
