Your mouth is God's brothel.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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