i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
