I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So much rum. So many feels.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
