I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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