i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize