I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
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My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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