Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
